In western culture in particular, we tend to be very DIY (Do-it-yourself). And there are awesome qualities that go along with that DIY spirit. We’re self-starters, we’re motivated, we try new things, we love to learn.
But then sometimes, inevitably, something happens, and we get stuck. We feel lost. We get overwhelmed.
And then what?
As much as we all love that DIY spirit, we both know we all need help sometimes. Humans were not meant to always do everything alone. Sometimes, we need a partner to help us on our journey, maybe for a brief period or maybe for the long run.
And when you finally recognize you need help, you go looking for someone to assist you.
So who do you go to for help with these intangible problems? In my experience, you end up with one of these five:
- Self-Proclaimed Coach
- Certified Coach
So let’s dig in a little bit.
Conventional therapy is focused on the past. Who you were. What happened to you. Past tense.
You go there to talk about your problems, and then you feel a little bit better.
And then you go back the next week, and you talk about your problems some more. Maybe some of the same problems, maybe a few different.
Therapy can help you deal with your problems, to maintain your current state.
But do the problems ever really go away? Maybe over years they do. But it’s a very slow process.
Why? Because the main goal is not healing the problem.
You stay stuck in the victim state, rehashing the same old stories. A therapist’s job is to listen to you, like a surrogate best friend. They do not tell you what to do.
Mentors are typically people with more experience, knowledge and connections that can pass along what they have learned to you. They often provide guidance or direction for the problem you are facing.
The problem is that often you are not empowered to choose your own path, to make your own decisions.
And many mentors have their own program, and they try to squeeze everyone into that program.
Often the only path is the one with which your Mentor has experience with.
You will often find mentors masquerading as Coaches for weight loss, writing your book, marketing or whatever.
#3: Self-Proclaimed Coach
Often a self-proclaimed coach, unlike a therapist, is focused on the future. Go, go, go. Rah, rah, rah! Action! Action! Action!
A self-proclaimed coach can help you achieve a specific outcome. You could have a business or a career coach or a sport coach.
Because they can be so action and outcome oriented, a lot of self-proclaimed coaches project that killer attitude. F’ the world. To be at the top, you have to be a killer.
Do we need to “suck it up” and ignore our feelings to be a success? Do we need to compromise our values to get what we want?
Like mentors, many self-proclaimed coaches have their program, and they try to squeeze everyone into that program. But you’re not the same as everyone else! You are unique and have your own experiences, your own soul signature.
The last problem is that self-proclaimed coaches don’t deal with the deeper stuff. They don’t work with your anxieties, your stresses, your life’s ups and downs.
A healer, or energy medicine practitioner, helps you connect with your higher consciousness and work with your spiritual body.
If you have an abundant amount of time and money, go to a healer.
The process often goes in a loop:
Take trauma from the world → Can’t take it anymore → Heal → Go back into the trauma
Rinse and repeat.
There can be immense short-term breakthroughs, but not always dealing with the real root cause.
#5: Certified Coach
Unlike the self-proclaimed coach and therapist, a certified coach is focused on the present and the future.
A certified coach can help you achieve a specific outcome as well as challenge you to identify what is holding you back from that goal.
A certified coach keeps you on track, but lets you lead your own discovery and the steps you need to take for yourself. There is no program to follow, your journey and experiences are unique and your insights and advancement will come when you are ready.
Your feelings and values are an integral part of your experience to achieving your desired outcome, and a certified coach will help guide you in this journey.
Certified coaches can help uncover how the deeper stuff is impacting your current state. They can use embodiment techniques for you to recognize what is coming up for you in the present moment. Those could be your anxieties and stresses.
Don’t get me wrong; therapists, mentors, self-proclaimed coaches, and healers all have their place. There is benefit in working on your past, your present, and your future. But it’s not enough to work on each thing individually. When client and certified coach work on them together, that’s when the real magic happens.
A certified coach when compared to a self-proclaimed coach holds themselves to a higher standard, a set of ethics, and are accountable to an accrediting body like the NBC-HWC or International Coaching Federation. Trust me, getting an internationally recognized accreditation is no easy task.
In my work with clients, I combine all but therapy, as I know how much more effective this can be. It’s not 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 = 4. More like 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 = 100.
By combining these modalities, my clients and I are able to work on the root cause, let go of what no longer serves you, and get actionable strategies, so you can step forward freely into the future you desire.
We also align our spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical bodies, so we’re not suppressing one aspect of ourselves in favor of another. When we are in alignment, we’re able to take action efficiently and feel good about it. I would love to hear from you if you want to learn more about how I combine these modalities to help my clients achieve their Anti-Aging and Longevity goals.